{Standage stories}

Little of this little of that

2011-12-29T14:57:00.000-08:00

So im sick. REALLY sick. I keep gagging and throwing up, its really annoying. You know how when you have a toothache how it can literally make you suicidal? Im gettin close with this headache i've had since last night! I once had a headache this bad that lasted 4 days! The kind when you bend over your head feels like its gonna pop off and roll on he ground. I was diagnosed with tension headaches as a result of my multiple whiplash injuries. Sorry to complain, but needless to say its not fun so stay away.

On the great news side I went to the doctor today to see my little peanut! It was the cutest little thing, it was kicking and spinning, and trying to lift its little head! Im only 13 weeks but it looked so human. Im really excited his time around. I was scared with Lexus, now im excited for this one. I would like to get that babycenter thing up top on my blog but Miranda did it for me last time, so.... call me D? Im clueless with this stuff still.

Amber

2011

2011-12-12T11:56:00.000-08:00

On New Year's Eve last year I predicted that 2011 would be a bad year for us. Im weird like that, I think odd years are bad luck for me personally, and evens are good! I am happy to say that 2011 proved me wrong. While financially it has been less than magical,
(they cut overtime from his department shortly before i became sick and pregnant resulting in me cutting out alot of evening hair appointments. Plus you add in a few car repairs, a huge plumbing fee, and some hospital bills...),
However we have been very blessed! Lexus is happy, healthy, and full of atititude :) and now she's going to be a big sister In july! We are very excited! Chaz shocked and amazed us both by getting accepted to PHOENIX SCHOOL OF LAW! We never thought it would happen. It was his top choice school! He gets to do it part time (might sound crazy) but he gets to keep his bank job full time and all our benefits! Which then means we get to stay in our house and raise our kids near all our family! School will take him 4 years instead of the usual 2 1/2-3 years. But its well worth it to us. We seriously were certain we'd be moving out of state. I am so proud of him! My only fear is that working and school will be too much to handle. But He constantly surprises me with how much he can handle :). Now if only I could find my lost paycheck so we could finish up Christmas shopping!

Amber

I Love...

2011-10-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

Things that I "love" are:

When the garbage schedule changes and you hear the truck coming, drop everything to run outside and see he has just passed your house.

When Lexus doesn't take a nap until 3 p.m.

When its 100 degrees the week before halloween...

When Lexus refuses to go to bed til midnight, and is up at 6...

Paying late fees on credit cards bc it just simply slipped my mind...

OOH buying shoes on sale at Dillard's, only for them to discount it 40% more 3 days later...

Getting all ready to TRY and make it to the temple for somebody going through for the FIRST time ever and Chaz being 4 minutes too late...(work ends at 5, it was a tight time frame). I mean we are dressed standing there at 5:34! I know its important to start on time, it was still a bummer.

Things that I ACTUALLY love:

Actually crafting! Making something yourself! I got these antique cpboards,(since I was 10 I have always frequented the downtown antique stores, weird?) and I painted them, and chalkboard painted the middle and got cute handles..

I am proud of myself!

I also love my little Lexus Lee of course

My relationship with my husband, some weeks we dont get to see eachother hardly because Ill have clients most nights so he gets home takes care of baby, and does homework then we go to bed. And I recently started working Saturdays so thats a sacrafice we made from family time, but times are tough for everyone im just greatful to have such opprtunities to help relieve the financial pressure. But last night I felt kinda disconnected from him so I asked if he would go for a drive with me and he said yes! It was nice, we talked and found a new antique store ill have to go to sometime. (its actually old and in A.J. but ill check it out).

Of course my loyal clients! Oh how I love them all! The ones who prebook in advance, and the ones who trust that I know what the heck Im doing, and the ones who deal with my less than accomadating schedule... I LOVE ALL OF THEM! Oh how happy I am to have met the clients I have, I learn so much about people.

Im obsessed with our chicken's eggs. They are so delicious! They dont peel very well when you hard boil them, which makes me wonder why store bought do... ew, it makes me want a cow to get organic milk but im not cut out to be a farmer just yet.

Family! I actually ran into my cousin today at Blockbuster. I forget how surrounded I am by family, so blessed :)

Fall time. Alot because of the change weather, but also because I HATE, LOATHE, DESPISE, get depressed by August (Wayne...) and September just blows bc utilities are so dang high and the UV rays aren't as good to tan lol. Also I love our annual Pumpkin carving tradition with Chaz's syblings! We've done it the past 3 years in a row.
2009:

2010:

2011:

I'm kinda excited for Halloween weekend! Yay!

Amber

So True

2011-10-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Facebook:

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

'Doctor, I have a serious p...roblem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.'

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.'

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!'

'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.'

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.

He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

If you agree, please SHARE.

Together we can help save precious lives!

Love says, 'I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person.' Abortion says, 'I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself.'

Little Miss Priss

2011-09-08T15:39:00.000-07:00

A few facts about Little Miss Priss:

She is spoiled. No surprise there. My thoughts on it- enjoy it while you can darling, someday you will have a few siblings and will not be getting away with all that you do. I truly feel bad for the day she realizes that the world doesn't in fact revolve around her. Until then, I will just love her and give her my undivided attention.

She is a Daddy's girl. All the way. Its almost offensive.

BUT she is her mother's daughter for sure. She parades around her new clothes on the hangers looking for copliments. Its adorable.

She LOVES babies. She says Baby all the time! Even to toddlers, its comical. She has a baby doll my sister got her. She carries it around and gives it kisses. What a little mother.

She is tiny. I am aware. At her 12 month check up she was just under 18 pounds. People stop me all the time to ask how old she is. Some people go the extra mile to offend me about it. A lady at a restaurant acted like my child was a freak of nature, ha the best part her 2 year old was like 55 pounds and the size of a kindergarter!

If you tell her no, she will do whatever it is faster, and laugh about it.

She gets jealous. If Chaz and I are hugging, cuddling, conversing without her she will dash on over and "talk" louder, or climb up us to be involved in the embrace. We may or may not do it intentionally sometimes ;).

Her favorite hobby is to empty out the entertainment center all day, everyday. I dont know why I even bother cleaning it up.

She carries the Minnie Mouse purse we bought at Disneyland this summer everywhere she goes. She'll pick it up and say "bye-bye".

She mimicks people alot. I definitely try to be more careful nowadays what I say, how I act, and what we watch.

If you laugh at her she gets very offended! It is no joke to her. She lashes out for a few minutes before calming down. EX. an eggos commercial came on and she walked up to the tv saying "more, more, more..." then it disappeared and we were laughing cause it was cute/sad. She stomped her foot and squealed at us for 3 minutes and refused to let us touch her.

She teases Scrat dog. They are buds. She also feeds Scrat.

Im envious of her tanning ability.

I love this little girl so much! She changes daily and its bittersweet. I love seeing her develop but I hate knowing my baby is slowly growing up. She is the best little buddy, i love hanging out with her.

Amber

2 years old!

2011-08-15T16:39:00.000-07:00

My puppy was born two years ago! I love Scrat! She is my baby. Chaz.... not so much. Hes not exactly what you would call a "dog person." He has quite a history with dogs. But I love my little scrat dog. Shes perfect. I cant believe how adorable she WAS!!

They Say Time Heals...

2011-08-04T12:40:00.001-07:00

The first year after we lost Wayne I would say I could keep it together 50% of the time. The second year, 80%. Today is what should be his 30th birthday. I wonder, all the time, what would he be doiing these days? But especially today. Who would he be celebrating with? What would he have accomplished between his last birthday on this earth 2 years ago and now? For those who knew him you know the possibilities are endless. When he set his mind to something, there was absolutely no stopping him. He was a speeding bullet. Speaking of.... one day we went shooting in the desert. Our targets were the basket of easter eggs my mom had recently used in a primary lesson. Ha ha sorry mom, they served us well.

Look at his smile!

a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EiRFcpB2NpI/Tjr3hQ4AGoI/AAAAAAAAAUk/o3j9KZ0jFRg/s1600/173.JPG">

Sometimes I would try to look hardcore, but it just looks....deformed

I could only imagine my mom must feel like a chunk of her heart is missing on this day. I have done so much reflecting today. I want to point out that I checked the weather Sunday night- yesterday and today were forecasted as clear! The rest of the week had showers, but that lightning show last night (much like he night he passed, and his funeral was like a movie!), anyway that lightning last night was not forecasted. At least not from my weather.com app. I even checked during the storm, look at the time:

I tell you this knowing you might think im trying to see signs, or trying to believe he's still near. I promise the weather is the only corresponding thing ive ever noticed between heaven and earth. I wish I could feel him near, just once. But I don't dare hope for it.

Wayne was one of a kind. Ill never meet another person like him. Love and miss him every day, usually I can think of him and smile. But certain days/seasons its
still hard to believe, and yes it hurts. Like a kick to the gut. I think as time goes on it will get easier. Lexus has helped heal my heart so much. Im so thankful to be blessed with such supporting friends and family. all the texts and messages i recieve are so meaningful to me. August pretty much is the pit of the year for my fam. So we'll cry today, we'll laugh today, and then cry some more. Its healthy. Tomorrow is a new day and life will go on. Until we meet again Wayne, Love you

PS I promise ill do a happy post next

My baby walks now

2011-06-13T16:55:00.000-07:00

So it finally happened! Yesterday Lexus took THREEE STEPS. Shes done two, but never 3! She also turned 1 last friday, and i turn 24 tomorrow.... WHAAAT THE? When did I grow up? Weird. Welp gotta go shes destroying my computer

I drowned another camera in diet coke, so sue me/ oh ya and Mothers day!

2011-05-10T16:20:00.000-07:00

Yep. Twice in 6 months i have done this. Chaz doesn't know thats what happened, im putting that fun convo off as long as possible. I just seem to have bad luck with the bottled pop, i think the lid is on and i throw it in my purse, and voila everything, ruined! LUCKILY my phone somehow was spared-oh you dont wanna know what would have happened. ANYWHO, so Mothers Day.
I got a gorgeous flower arrangement from the hub. Then we went to church with my mom because my dad was too sick and its just wrong to let her go alone. Its kind of a bittersweet holiday for her. After church we brought a rose by my grandma's but she happened to be at church. Sad we missed her.
Then we went to Chaz's sister's house for his family's mother's day. That was very nice. His dad made us a FEAST! It was delicious. But the part that we will ALL remember is going to visit his grandmother. I have never ever met his grandma, who he lived with. In fact she had just been sent to a home when I met him and he lived at her house. She has alzheimers. On the way to Jen's Chaz had mentioned he wanted to see his grandma, so I mentioned it and the whole fam. was eager to go. You never know when your last chance might be. So we all went, its been 3 years since any of the grandkids had seen her. (Houston may have, not sure). But when we walked in the home I felt sick seeing all these elderly people unable to move or speak
and communicate. How frustrating and scary would that be? Well there were so many of us (6 Standage children and 5 spouses) they put us in the conference room. When they wheeled her in, all of us cried. She was so happy to see her son! She could hardly communicate but you could see it on her face. Each grandkid took a turn speaking to her. It was so emotional, especially for me to watch Chaz, he lived with her last. It was quite an unforgettable experience. Im so glad we did it. It also made me feel AWFUL that I dont stop by and visit my healthy, active, amazing grandparents more often. They are so supportive, and so involved. I felt this big that I had left a rose on the doorstep for Mother's Day. It was a very memorable day. I am so grateful for my mother and the perfect example she sets for me and my sisters. I hope I can grow into that kind of a mom. I just adore my little daughter. Also I couldn't be happier to NOT be pregnant anymore and to actually be a mother this year. Now time to prepare for Father's Day!
Amber

time traveling

2011-04-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

At night I like to take a bath and read my old journals. It literally takes me back another time, and another frame of mind. I have been pretty good at keeping journals throughout my whole life. What a blessing that has been. But reminiscing can be a scary thing. There are dark periods we go through in life and I can re-feel everything as I read through those times. On the other hand, I re-live my glory days in beauty school, and after. Dating Chaz, and getting married! Such extreme emotions in both directions.
One of my greatest joys is reading about me and Wayne. And how much FUN we had together! All the late night Wal Mart runs, the drives to Payson, trips to Mexico. We seriously had so much ridiculous fun together! (some might say TOO much, but I have no regrets). We were, for a time, each other's best friend. When I hurt, he hurt and vice versa. When he got divorced and hurt so deeply, I couldn't imagine that pain, but I hurt too. Some nights we would stay up and talk all night long. We spent one Sunday driving all around town looking for places to rent. That was such a fun day! We never did it, but just thinking about it was fun. I was so blessed to have a sybling I would rather hangout with than anyone else. The best part was I NEVER took it for granted. Wayne was my idol my whole life. In my eyes he did no wrong. When I was finally old enough and cool enough he wanted to hangout with me I felt like I could die happy. Thats probably what drew everyone to him. He made you feel on top of the world, he had this sense of confidence that was contagious! I always wished I could be confident and funny, and sarcastic just like him. He literally could light up a room with his infectious smile, and witty remarks. Man, I was really blessed to be his sister. I sometimes picture him up there in heaven cracking jokes in a big crowd of prestigious church leaders. Where I would be sitting there intimidated, he could just burst in there like he owned the place. He has such a huge presence about him. I honestly can't wait to see him again. I imagine him welcoming me to heaven and it comforts me. Im pretty lucky to have such a cool brother waiting for me.

Amber

Nap Time

2011-03-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when Lexus FINALLY went down for a nap, I indulged in my favorite past time:

Pathetic, or Devoted?

It was magical.

Amber

Spring Break!

2011-03-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

Although I wish I were in MEXICO, I can't complain! Chaz had 2 days off with us last week and we took a day trip to Tucson for Kaylyn's wedding which was beautiful!

This man, he is such a good father.

We went to a spring training game just us 2, it was so nice!

This is my all time favorite picture of Lexus!

I also have got to lay out this week, I love Springtime!

Friends,Scrat, Lexus, and some Chick-fil-a

2011-02-25T19:50:00.000-08:00

First and foremost SCRATTY'S HOME! My dad took her a few weeks ago as a "favor" to us when Chaz went in the hospital. But it went from a favor to him dog-knapping my bff! She's finally home and bathed. She's getting groomed ASAP Btw. I have to say, the 2 of them play great together and I think its so cute. Maybe not quite sanitary, but im just happy Scrat didn't eat her as a newborn

Along with Scrat coming back comes this....I feared when it would happen but finally, it has. Lexus discovered the dog food! I saw her crawling that direction so fast you'd think she were on fire. I knew this day would come. Just what I need, another reason to lose sleep at night...

Girls night dinner for Kelsie's b-day! Woo hoo 22 hot years old! Loves her! I ripped the photo off Alex's FB. It was a good time. Ya just had to be there ;)

I AM OBSESSED WITH CHICK-FIL-A! And I got my dad and grandparents into it too!!
(Someone please convert Chaz, I have failed miserably)

Lexus has had a couple special playdates that I hope become more frequent! With all our kids so close in age it makes it so fun!

Bye bye baby Reg, Miranda took him and moved to the middle of nowhere! Ok Washington D.C. isn't quite the middle of nowhere but its far. We'll miss them!

Well thats all for now! Oh and for the record, Lexus has 2 bottom teeth, they FINALLY poked through a couple weeks ago after teasing us for months! Yay for drool!

Amber

What is this a blog, or a shrine to Lexus?

2011-02-09T22:15:00.000-08:00

So its been a while and Lexus has grown alot and I want to document that. You can leave now if you don't care, I won't even know you were here. So Thanksgiving was last year, but thats the first pic, Lexus's first Thanksgiving. Then Christmas, well that was Christmas Eve at the jewelry store- isn't that precious of her with my 87 year old grandpa! So cute! Then she started crawling at 6 months, and perfected her crawling at 6.5 months. Superbowl sunday was fun, we had his family over. And finally, the picture where she looks abused... sigh. im really bothered. Not for the reasons you would think. Im really sad about the fact she got hurt, yes. But mostly,why on her FACE?! Its her perfect little face and I really really REALLY don't want her scarred. You see when I was very little probably her age I got a gash in my cheek from my dog. It scratched me on accident and that scar is visible to this day! Their little skin is so tender. What happened was she was pulling herself up on the futon trying to get to daddy and she fell and hit the metal bar. She cried so much harder than usual. (You know how they fall backward and hit their head? Oh, other parents are responsible and catch them? Whoops...) anyways this is such a new exciting age but its scary at the same time! Love that little girl, can't believe she's only been part of my life 7 months! On a side note, This week has been crazy! Chaz went to the hospital (long story, still not exactly sure whats wrong) and my sister Heather is in the hospital, Heidi had her baby 3 and a half weeks ago, a girl, yay!! Oh and my parents, yeah they live in a hotel bc their house flooded!! Gotta this crazy life!
Amber

A picture's worth a thousand words

2010-09-05T21:14:00.001-07:00

This picture sums up the WORST the thing that has ever happened to me (losing my most favorite brother and friend) and the absolute BEST. And all in one year's time.

Thank heavens for the plan. I believe now more than ever that the lord has a plan specific to each of us. I can't believe how fast time goes. A year ago today we buried Wayne and I cried myself to sleep every single night until the night I discovered I was pregnant. Which was the Wed. before halloween, so almost a solid 2 months Chaz would lay in bed with me and comfort me as the tears would soak my pillow. But I must say now I cry for joy at how blessed I have been ever since. I believe we must go through those rock bottom times to really recognize the high times in out lives. And I am definately enjoying life at this time. I am so grateful to have such amazing friends who support me when I need them, and always seem to know when that is. My family has become so much closer in the past year and I love that too. Thanks to everyone in my life, you all mean a great deal to me!

Amber

I lost 40 pounds in a month!!

2010-08-08T23:46:00.000-07:00

By having a baby ha ha ha! Sadly, I have a little more to lose because i started out with some extra. So Lexus Lee turned one month old today, and I cannot believe it! I am in love with this little girl, she is such a good baby! Plus she is adorable! See for yourself:

Chaz's cousin Chandra (chandra delite photography) took some newborn photos for us and I love them! She did such a good job! I have been loving this crazy new life so much. All is REALLY well. What a relief after last year's August :(.
Love,
Amber

This is my 4th of July post

2010-07-04T20:41:00.000-07:00

First things first, LOOK WHAT I MADE: (click the pic to make it big)

I love them and they took no time at all. I am proud of myself :)
Secondly, I am finally huge and uncomfortable and I hate my fat face, but here is me at 39 weeks:

And lastly, I am EXTREMELY bitter because I took Castor Oil 3 DIFFERENT times in the past 48 hours and my baby is nowhere near coming out yet! I really wanted her to be born today on the 4th of July, but she wasn't! I tried every other suggestion you could think of and no results! The closest thing that happened was I had an hour and a half of contractions that obviously weren't labor. Anywho, can't say I didn't try. Hope you all have a great 4th!!
Love,
Amber

Opinions needed

2010-05-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about baby girl clothes since I found out I was having a girl! After all, my favorite color is pink&sparkly! So naturally I have thought about what my baby girl will wear home from the hospital. I know it really probably doesn't matter, but its something to look forward to and I NEED something to look forward to. Well little did I know my husband has his own ideas in mind as to what baby will wear home too. SOOO we're putting it to a vote. I won't say who chose which onesie but its fairly obvious.... Please comment your vote:

OR...............

How much bigger am I really gonna get?!

2010-05-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

My baby shower was last week and I have got to say thank you to so many people!! I promise im working on Thank Yous this week ha ha. But really I felt so blessed to have so many supporting friends! Not to mention my amazing family and my parent's ward members. I really love all of you! I was so busy all night I didn't get too many pictures but here's some of us girls:

Kelsie Webster is the best friend you'll never have (cause she's already taken ;) ) But she made me this adorable Diaper cake as well as helped put on the shower,AND made the cutest tutu you'll have to wait to see, AND made a decorative sign, AND helped me paint the nursery!

I know I should wait to post the pictures from the nursery until its all done but I worked really hard on it this far and so I can't wait!

Its coming so soon, I only have 7 weeks left!!

Love,
Amber

Things that make me happy!!!

2010-05-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

I love love love getting flowers! Especially for no reason at all! (Well other than the obvious fact that im carrying an additional billion pounds all day as i work on my feet. Other than that no reason at all). JK JK kinda. But anyways I was at work for my dad and a delivery came for me! He's So sweet, i guess ill keep him :):

Also, Chaz sold his jeep to some illegals! Yay!! Im not being racist, they literally didn't have a license, except an expired one from Mexico. Whatev. He came in and threw all this money at me. Its funny, now that im older and more conscience of germs, cash money kinda grosses me out. Its the dirtiest thing on the earth! But I still like it despite its filth!

I am also happy about my recent switch to Avante Salon at San Tan mall in Gilbert. Its alot of fun working at the mall. If you haven't been to that mall I dare you to go! The Forever 21 there rocks.
Love,
Amber

Random Much?

2010-04-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

So I am 29 weeks pregnant now and I still like to schedule my day off around "peak tanning hours". Relax I asked my doctor if its ok to lay out and he said as long I keep hydrated and don't get over heated its fine. So with our big tax rebate this year WE BOUGHT A POOL!!! You wanna see it dontcha?! Here she is...

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Ha ha ha! Whatever it gets the job done.

As I was looking through my camera for pictures to post I noticed my sweeet husband had taken some candids of me ha ha ha. I love my Scrat and I really am asleep;

As much as I hate to post pics of me pregnant, I know I want to see other pregos out there pictures. Plus check it out, all 4 of us are pregnant at the same time! Its so much fun having so many friends pregnant at the same time! I also have a couple girls at work to share in the misery and one of my fav. cousins ever is just 2 weeks apart too! (you know who you are ;) )

Love,
Amber

Easters 2010

2010-04-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

This was a great Easter! We began the day by admiring our new car! Chaz brought this home the other night after work and its PERFECT for a baby! Yay! I love it!!!

Then we got to look at what the easter bunny brought us, he (i) knew exactly what we liked!:

(Mmmmm... Abercrombie cologne... it benefits me as much as him ;))

After watching conference we went to my grandparents for dinner and ate with this fine couple who are about to get maried:

Our last stop was the Rowley's, always a party!

Hope you all had a fine day!
Love,
Amber

1 week, 3 weddings

2010-03-24T12:56:00.000-07:00

Sadly I cannot find my camera cord for pics of Ty (Chaz's brother) and Nicole's wedding and Kylie and Nate's which were on the very same day! But Houston (Chaz's littlest brother) and Lyndie got married March 5th and I have some pics

See my baby bump? im 5 1/2 months here

I really like the guys in this one (especially Chaz):

The Happy couple:

Good times, aren't weddings so enjoyable when they're not your own?! Such happy occassions!
Love,
Amber

A Letter To Wayne

2010-03-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

I usually try to stay positive, but this is something ive wanted to post for about a week or so. Its been saved in my drafts and im just gonna go ahead and post it. Im not sure why, just venting I guess. If I could disable comments i would because im not looking for sympathy or anything of the sort. I came across this song the other day and it keeps playing in my head. So to anybody who has lost somebody this song hits close to home.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

Chorus:

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

Chorus

Today, Today, Today
Today, Today, Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday

Kenny Chesney sang it, and it brought me to my knees in the fetal position to hear it cause it rang so true. Not a day goes by I dont remember you. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I long to talk with you again. But mostly I cry. You taught me how to live and showed me how to die. You were my big brother and I was lucky enough to become best friends with you. There will never be another like you. It has been six and a half months since you were taken from us and i still can't believe your gone. I love you big bro.

Love,
Amber

Spring Fever

2010-03-15T22:08:00.000-07:00

Today was such a difficult day to go to work, cause the weather was phenomenal!! Luckily I had a short day at the salon today, so me and the hubby met up for lunch, it was fun, like old times! I picked him up from his work and we ate at the ever popular filibertos. It was delish, til I found a hair in my beans. Lunch then was cut abruptly short on account we were grossed out. After we both got home from work we wanted to do something fun! So we went to Chandler mall! When you look like this:

**this picture was a joke, i was tanning and decided to photograph how ridiculous i look**
Anywho when you look like that, going to Abercrombie depresses you. But on the upside we got Chaz some new jeans for like way cheap see:

Yes, im jealous of his ability to fit into abercrombie jeans. Who wouldn't be.
Then we moved onto shopping for Little unborn Lexus:

Check out the little bear feet! Awwwww

Hope everyone else is having a wonderful Spring Break!
Love,
Amber
P.s. Remember when Spring Break meant new swim suits, shorts, mexico, mexico, and more mexico? Yeah, times have changed.

A Short Story

2010-03-03T20:31:00.000-08:00

I love this picture because.....

I remember back when I picked out my ring at my dad's Jewelry store. I was 18, maybe 19 and I knew it was the ONE. I would try it on and stare at it exactly like I did in the picture. I would wonder who would give it to me, and what my life would be like when I finally got to wear it. Tonight I put my rings back on after getting them all polished up and I did the exact same thing. I held out my hand and thought about how lucky I am. I did get the ring, I got the husband, I had the wedding I always dreamed of, I got a house and am soon gonna be a mom. Im so in love with my prefect husband and my happy life. I never imagined my future could be THIS good!
Love,
Amber

Its a Girl!

2010-02-02T21:15:00.000-08:00

Yay! We couldn't be more excited cause we both wanted a girl really badly! I cannot wait to dress her! My family is already spoiling us and her! She's the first granddaughter on my side, and the third girl on Chaz's! She'll be very well taken care of. Oh yeah, we're naming her Lexus Lee Standage! Cute, huh? We think so!
Love,
Amber

Hide your children!

2010-01-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know I talk about my dog alot, but seriously this thing is nuts!! So today I decided to be nice and take little Scrat over to my mom's house to play with my family's pomeranian. Mostly I do it cause on days when Chaz and I work all day and then come home, she is bouncing off the walls and aggressive. So anyways I walk out to my car and tell her to "go potty scrat". What does she do?! Freakin hauls full speed ahead, while peeing herself i might add, to the neighbors (who i havent met) yard where 3 adults are standing, and 5 kids are playing. Im 4 months pregnant-so i just look fat, not pregnant hardly at all- trying to chase her and she has no clue what the word NO means!
She finds the one toddler in the group and immediatly thinks he's her size so he wants to play too! She jumps on him, scratching him and wagging her tail like she's having the time of her life! The poor scared little boy just froze! The adults were all, "oh how cute!" Then i finally catch up to her and the other kids start chasing her down my street!! So i yell over my shoulder "Im so sorry, she's the worst dog in the world!" Then continue chasing her! Finally the kids corner her in my garage and she leaps into my arms. I wanted to go introduce myself to my new neighbors and apologize. But instead i threw her in my car, jumped in and hid my face as i took off. Ha ha ha Im such a wuss. I hope that little boy doesn't have permanent damage from the attack, but i have a feeling he'll live. Scrat however may soon be up for adoption ;)
Love,
Amber

Christmas Presence

2009-12-25T20:33:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! Yes, today is Christmas, the day of the savior's birth. Santa Clause visited us, and our families, and it was truly a day of presents and celebration. But to be honest, there was something missing. We had plenty of presents wrapped in pretty packages. There was food galore eveerywhere we went. But I felt empty, hollow, sad even. I really tried hard not to think of the empty bedroom in my parent's house where my favorite brother lived. But my friends, I failed. In the car at 7 a.m. on the way to Chaz's parents I sobbed and tears washed away all my make up. By the time we pulled up my eyes were red and puffy, my eyes black and streaks were down my cheeks. I said a prayer pleading that I could get through this day. I've said alot of those. So I stopped crying and we went inside. Either noone noticed my puffy red eyes, or they knew but were being polite and saw past it. The morning over there was delightful, everyone unwrapping their gifts, I nearly forgot my earlier breakdown.

Then we went to my parents. My parents and sisters were holding it together, but I brokedown 3 times. My dad then showed me last year's video with me and Wayne going at it, back and forth just joking around, it truly brightened my day. We always lit up around one another, it was a special bond we had. One that I am grateful for. Sasha and Matt Hardwick came over, Matt was Wayne's very best friend since birth. More tears were shed, I appreciated their support in coming over.

Last stop was my grandparents house. Lots of Wonderful cousins were there, and I loved seeing them. My grandparents handed out our gifts and we all unwrapped them. Then my mom got one, and the look on her face brought tears to my eyes. My grandma hand stitched a poem that my mom's sister wrote for Wayne's funeral program. As that was passed around more tears were shed.

The rest of the day we went by smoothly, we visited and laughed and played with our presents. Christmas had a whole new meaning this year, I truly enjoyed watching everyone open gifts, and soaked in seeing everyone. Christmas this year wasn't about the presents, it was about the presence of loved ones. Im thankful the savior was born today, and lived and died so that we can be together forever. Have a merry day after Christmas shopping day! I know I will!
Love,
Amber

Happy Anniversary to me!

2009-12-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

Friday the 18th was our one year wedding anniversary!! We celebrated by going to Chaz's god friends Mike Dobbins' wedding in the temple that same day! It was so neat to be there exactly one year later! We headed straight to california where we stayed at the Radisson hotel near Disneyland! Chaz works for Wells Fargo and they hooked us up! I love Disneyland it IS the Happiest place on EARTH!! I loved every moment of being there at Christmas time! Since im still feeling car sick from the trip, thats all ill say. Here are some pics:

I need advice!!!!

2009-12-08T19:40:00.000-08:00

K so here's my dilema! I am not nauseas anymore except when it comes to FOOD! But its so unfortunate because Ill eat takeout instead of cooking! The thought of cooking makes my stomach churn in the worse way! I have to hurry and eat before i smell any one food for too long. So im afraid im gonna turn into that guy who ate Mcdonalds every day for a month and gained like a billion pounds! Any tips?!?!

Its O.K.

2009-11-29T13:29:00.000-08:00

its ok to:
*sleep 12 hours some nights, on top of the frequent naps.

*text your husband as he's getting off work to let him know there isn't a warm meal waiting for him at home.

*Eat Pete's fish and chips because if you don't have it that moment you will surely die.

*Cry at The end of Disney movies (I do it anyway).

*Take multiple hot baths a night

Yep, im not feeling very well and i've "let myself go". K not really, but it feels that way for now. Oh well im enjoying the ride and it'll be worth it! Oh yeah, Black Friday shopping was so much fun!!! I wanna do it every year!

New Moon anyone? I have a treat for you!

2009-11-09T20:55:00.001-08:00

Back in May the hubby and I took a roadtrip to his old stomping grounds- Vancouver Canada. Its where he served his mission for the church. Well my awesome husband looked up the locations where New Moon was being wrapped up while we were there! What a nice guy! We did tons of other stuff too, but Ill share the New Moon pics with u!

This is where Twilight was filmed, but not New Moon. Such a cute school!!
Emmett's Jeep?

Yep, Bella's house!!!!!!!

Oh and I TOTALLY talked the security guard into letting me on the set!! Lucky!

Some random other house across from Bella's... he said they filmed there too, wonder what it is?

The forrest next to Bella's house (i think where Edward leaves her)

Just us;

No lie we just drove past this and I snapped the shot! The outside of the movie theatre

You best believe this is where they filmed the interior scenes for the movies!

Oh and you also better believe we watched a movie in it too! Biggest, oldest theatre in Vancouver!

So whose excited for New Moon?!!!!!

Little Scrat gets what she had coming to her! A bath!

2009-11-08T13:33:00.000-08:00

ScRAt is almost 3 months old and had never had a bath! Ew! I agree. So today she was really being a terror, biting me and jumping up on the couch to get my string cheese so I decided i'd teach her a lesson and give her a bath. It was HILARIOUS! She didn't make a sound in the bath tub, she was so mad ha ha ha. But then afterward she was crazier than ever. Lesson learned.

P.s. I uploaded the pics backward, oh well

Love,

Amber

I'm Expecting... yes, A BABY!!!

2009-11-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

I was quite astonished Wednesday Night when I took a test and it showed up positive! But it did, and I guess Im gonna be a mommy ready or not! I went hunting the very next morning with my dad because I couldn't break his heart and bail the night before my deer hunt. I do believe Im the best daughter in the world for that one. No i didn't get a deer, yes this was my third deer hunt and it for sure snowed! Cheers!
Love,
Amber

P.s. Chaz still doesn't really believe me that im pregnant, for reals. After more than a couple tests and Even though I cried, bawled yesterday when I said to him: "I wanna watch Hercules." He replied : "But we don't own Hercules." I was devastated as he spoke the words ha ha ha! what fun, 8 more months of that ahead of us!

A Friend In Need

2009-10-12T00:02:00.000-07:00

My friend Alex aka "Alexa Mae" is going through a personal living nightmare. Her husband is in the hospital, and in desperate need of our prayers. If you don't know her or him, or their 2 beautiful children please include their family in your prayers anyways. It really does make a difference, I know that for a fact.
Lots of love,
Amber

What's there to do on a Saturday Night

2009-09-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

Last night was our date night, every weekend we do date night. For instance, last weekend I planned our date and we went to the drive in movies in my parents convertible Ford Bronco. Ha ha it was surprisingly comfortable and the weather was so great. Well last night out plans got ruined, and I SOOO didn't feel like staying home. So Chaz and I kept brainstorming and all of a suddenly I realized I NEED a puppy! Like in the worst way! No joke, it came out of nowhere and I was not taking no for an answer! We immediatly went to the mall, where the animals apparently poop diamonds cause why else would I pay 1500 for this dog?! After we didn't buy the diamond pooping dog, we looked online and found this little bundle of joy out in Glendale! I love her! So this is Scrat, and she is my new puppy!

Happy Happy Birthdays!!

2009-09-23T23:01:00.000-07:00

Today was my "young" husband's birthday!! I won't tell how old he is but he's 6 years my senior ; ). I reccomend marrying older, but thats just me. I'm biased. Anyways, it was a GREAT birthday! I was too busy enjoying the family gatherings to take pictures but there are 3 presents I will share with you :
1. The brand new Ipod, 160 GB!! That means nothing to me, but it can hold 40,000 songs, or like 200 movies. Ridiculous right?! Yeah, I bought it for him. Your welcome Chaz : ) 2. This 22 rifle that Chaz's dad bought right after mission (many moons ago, and its also his birthday today too-weird!) But my dad bought it off of my father in law some time ago and has spent a full year re finishing it! To the point Chaz didn't recognize it at first! Pretty sweet huh? We were all super surprised.

3. My brother Wayne's watch. Super sentimental and I love it!

My dad engraved: Wayne Gunnell

8-4-81 to 8-31-2009.

So here's the Happy Birthday Boy himself!! He's in heaven right now downloading all the songs he's wanted for so long. Happy Birthday Chaz (and Charlie) I love you!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2009-09-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

Friends, who needs them? Well, to be honest I do! Truly, truly these girls are like family. There's nothing that could come between us! For reals. I love these girls! They are here for me before I even have to ask! And it goes both ways. I love you girls! Thank you! We were friends since elementary school, and even survived crazy hair days (or weeks/months)... *A special thanks to Sash for the pretty hair colors ; ) *

Late night gas station runs...... YES PLEASE

Keeping in touch post H.S. after everybody told us we wouldn't remain friends....

Aren't they beautiful!

Yes we still stay up late and talk about old times, and the "good old days"

And we party like there's no tomorrow! Point is I love all my friends! Whether I knew you in elementary school, Jr. High, High school, beauty school, or the brief year at MCC, chances are I was friends with these same girls and Im proud of that. I feel like its one of my life's greatest accomplishments to find TRUE FRIENDS that stick together through Thick and thin.

Amber

2009-09-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

This is Wayne and I at my wedding. Im so lucky to have had him there.

This is my brother and I again. Its a couple years old, but one of my fondest memories. The end.

Its so hard to say goodbye

2009-09-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

So I won't. Yet. Wayne passed away Monday night, the viewing is this Friday night 6-8 at Bunker's Mortuary in downtown Mesa. The funeral will be this Saturday morning at our ward building 1455 N. Harris st. (on Harris North of Brown, South of Mckellips). a visitation will be for approx. 1 hour before the funeral. That closed casket visitation will go from 8:30 til about 9:20. The funeral will start at 9:30 prompt. Hope to see all of you there. Also here's a link to his obituary
http://www.legacy.com/Link.asp?I=LS000132218588O

Amber

Hopeful...

2009-08-30T13:36:00.000-07:00

Wayne was finally stable enough yesterday that they took him downstairs to do a bunch of tests to see his progression. The good news is that he didn't die on them, or have any complications throughout the testing! The bad news, there isn't really anything good to report from the tests. The infection in and around his lungs is still way bad, but at the moment he seems to be doing alot more breathing on his own. He still has the ventilator in, but last i knew they were decreasing his oxygen by 5%. Yep, thats it 5% and im all excited. Thats how this whole process will go. In tiny, tiny, tiny babysteps. However, on Thursday Wayne did open his eyes, and look at me. He definately recognized me! I told him I love him and he nodded his head up and down to say yes. I know he knows that I do, and that is a good feeling. Again, we appreciate the prayers, fasting, and thoughts from everybody. He is very watched over, protected, and loved by many.

Amber

Death; I cannot wait to die... warning, contains some religious thoughts, please don't take offense if you don't share the same feelings on religion

2009-08-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

Honestly! Now, don't get me wrong, im in no hurry, but when the time comes I will be glad to cross over to the other side! Do you wanna know what brought this on? Ok, so the other night, Chaz (The Husb.) was comforting me after a hard day at the hospital. A frequent occurance as of late. Well something he said stuck with me. He said to me, "you know in a hundred years from now none of this will matter." I looked at him with an expression that translated: what on earth do you mean, you crazy person? He continued," well in a hundred years, you'll be with him in a much happier place and for forever." I said, yeah thats true and I continued to feel not much hope because regardless I want my brother to stay on Earth with me for a long long time.

Last night, I was once again in a hopeless state of mind after a not-so-uplifting hospital visit. Basically no progression, just complications, but he's fighting through them. So, Im crying, as usual, at home when that conversation Chaz had with me finally CLICKED! How completely selffish I have been, trying to keep Wayne here on this miserable Earth for maybe longer than he needs be. Think about it, Wayne's whole life has been trials. "The lord chastizes those whom he loves". Well its very apparent to all of us who know Wayne how blessed, and cursed he always has been. I finally understand, the plan! Our father in heaven loves my brother/His Son, more than even I am capable of. All of the pain I am feeling is only a fraction of the pain our father in heaven is feeling having to watch one of his beloved sons suffer so tremendously. If the lord decides to take Wayne from this Earth, it will be to a far better, happier place, and he will heal him. Finally! He wants to help him, im sure of that!

So, although I will do everything in my power to keep pulling for Wayne to make it through (because, essentially I am selffish). I can be at peace if things don't go the way I want because I love my brother very much and I know he will be happy, and whole as soon as he crosses over and is in the lord's loving arms. I hope my new-found outlook can help to comfort those of you who are so caring, and worried for him. It is such a hard time for all of us, but also a time to grow. As I said before, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all of your prayers, thoughts, and Love!

Amber

*p.s.*
Wayne is till in very critical condition, not much change in his condition, a few complications like pneumonia, and staph infection. Blood sugars, stuff that sometimes goes wrong in these situations, and in Wayne's case always WILL go wrong. So he's fighting the complications which is preventing a quicker recovery. His brain activity is real low and he isn't recognizing people or questions. They say its temporary. Also the infection in and around his lungs has worsened. The only plus so far this week is they took him off all 5 blood pressure meds, so he's maintaining that himself.

No news is NOT good news

2009-08-26T23:55:00.000-07:00

Blessings in disguise?!

2009-08-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

I have a brother, many of you know him, his name is wayne, Wayne Gunnell just to be clear. (If i could this is where an adorable picture of the 2 of us at my wedding would be inserted, just use your imagination). Wayne has many health problems. For exaple, he is a diabetic (type1) and also on kidney dialysis. He is currently waiting for a pancrease and kidney transplant. Amazing right?! We think so, it would cure him of diabetes! Well Monday he recieved GREAT news that his wait should be coming to an end! They wanted him to be the next person to get the next available transplant!! He was so ECSTATIC he drove to my work, literally interrupted me while pulling color through my client's hair to tell me! I was so happy for him!

You know what happened next? Do you wanna know? Ok, ill tell you.

Wayne got into a car wreck Tuesday night. A head-on collision. My mom saw her beloved car at the junk yard (R.I.P). He was then pryed out of the wreckage with the help of the jaws of life. They helicoptered him to the hospital where he suffered a massive heart attack.

You see, nobody had known that Wayne had 100% blockage in his arteries! He suffered quite a few injuries such as; Extensive internal bleeding (really scary) a broken pelvis, a broken rib/punctured lung (that filled with blood), the heart attack, a burn from the engine on his stomach, other scrapes and bruises of course. He is still in critical care and cannot talk. But so far anytime he's been asked if he knows why he's in here (hospital) he shakes his head no. How heartbreaking for my mom to have to tell him. The doctors believe he suffered a heart attack and that caused the wreck. I cannot even imagine what must have been going through his mind those few seconds before he hit! I pray he cannot remember either, beacause that had to be the worst moments of his life. So where does that leave my one and only brother now?! For 1. the transplant will be postponed : (. But you wanna know where the silver lining is?! SO DO I!

jk jk, he did live, and thats a miracle. All I know is the Lord works in mysterious ways. All of our family and friends have been so over-whelmingly concerned and loving. THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart. I feel like everybody has something like this happen to someone they love i.e. cancer, heart attacks, strokes, sudden death. I am just go grateful the lord didn't think his time is up, cause im selffish and im not ready for him to go yet! Thank you again for all your support, it means the world to me
Love,
Amber

*update*
Wayne took a turn for the worse this afternoon and his chance of survival has decreased. Sadly, they took out the ventilator but had to put it back in, along with 4 more tubes in his chest. He had 4 nurses, 2 doctors, and a specialist surrounding him last i saw. As bad as it is, the grim diagnosis is "hospital talk" I personally feel he'll pull through even now. It is all in the lord's hands Please keep him in your prayers, thanks again.

*update (monday)*
Early early this morning, they lost Wayne's pulse for a few minutes, they called my parents in immediatly. They got back home around 6 a.m. They got his pulse back and got him more stabilized. So far today some coloring has returned to his face which is a good sign! The doctors and nurses are telling the family to be close by, "just in case", In other words, their anticipating more close calls. ALSO, they discovered a staph infection in his blood! They're running a couple different anti-biotics through his system for the next 48 hrs. to try and beat out the infection. The timing couldn't be worse and hopefully they even CAN treat it. its just another complication that I think we all could do without you. Thank you for your sweet prayers, they make all the difference in the world!

2009-01-14T14:45:00.000-08:00

We are the Standages finally! Our wedding day was absoloutely perfect! The rainy weather cleared up just in time for us to get in some dry pics! It was the best day of our lives! DEC. 18 2008!

2008-11-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

Six weeks to go...
Our wedding is fast approaching and we're getting more and more anxious to be sealed! Halloween Kelsie and Adam had a party that most all of our friends came to! It was such a blast, we all danced and best of all were the costumes! I hope I can put pics up, but im pretty slow at getting the hang of this. But it was definately fun getting together, with our husbands (or soon to be) and hanging out the way we used to!

Engagees

2008-09-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

Hi! We are soon to be Chaz and Amber (Gunnell) Standage! December 18th is the wedding date, we'll be sealed in the Arizona temple forever!! Um we're brand new to this blogspot, but everyone says its cool so cheers!